I couldn't tell what that washer was at first, because the photo of it didn't put a scale to it. It would have told more if it was placed beside the rest of the components in the same photo.
However, I'm 99% certain it's the washer that's supposed to sit between the shock buffer and the recoil spring, as I don't see any washer there at all in the other photos. If you run your gun without a steel washer in that location, the action will actually chop that shock buffer to pieces.
As for the guide rod coming loose, yes, it is an issue. The two holes drilled through the side, are to allow you to insert keys through them, so that you can crank down the rod with enough torque to secure the two parts. Put some Loctite on the threads so that it won't come apart again. For your particular setup, you shouldn't ever have to take the two pieces apart. They're only machined as two pieces, as it's easier to manufacture a base unit as one piece, and then a second piece that screws down to the required length.
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