Oh no my friends. All of you are wrong!
For I have true evidence of what it was used for!
Months back during the sunnier days of Canada, I was enjoying a peaceful stroll down along the local park until I came across a horrifying sight.
Children everywhere, shooting each other with crappy, whiny little airsoft guns from the local Wal-mart. They spread across the once untainted lands of the local park as if some kind of writhing vermin squeaking and shouting with their high pitched voices. I tried to stop them! But despite my attempts, I had failed.
I retreated to a lonesome park bench and decided to rest, colorful bb's zoomed left and right across my head. I did not care, for I was hopeless! The future of our sport was being put in danger and I had no power to stop the events unfolding around me.
But, something happened... It came in a flash of light from the heavens with a thundering boom. All of the children had stopped, looking up with maws agape at the spectacle before them.
And like a holy being, Stephen Harper descended from the clouded sky, wielding this wondrous device. He called out to me with a bellowing voice with a fist raised high!
" Worry not brave Airsofter! For I have come to your aide!"
At first, I could not believe my eyes. All I could do is simply cheer him on as he put the device to use. The two lenses belched out blinding beams of light and zapped kids one by one, bursting each into a violent plume of smoke and flame, leaving nothing but smoke wisping husks of ash on the ground.
Here, my story ends, for what had happened only took seconds.
But luckily for me... I was able to snap a quick photograph of this miraculous event.
